


Mourning White

by malcolmn666



Series: Lu Ten Lives [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Domestic Violence, Gen, Lu Ten lives, lu ten isn't in this really tho, this is azula being mad at ursa, ursa is kinda falling apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malcolmn666/pseuds/malcolmn666
Summary: Zuko is dead, and officially, the capital is mourning.Azula is bored, and hears her mother carrying on in her rooms. She confronts her.Ursa wasn't the best mom, isn't the best mom, and Azula feels like Ursa doesn't deserve to mourn him like she does.
Relationships: Azula & Ursa (Avatar)
Series: Lu Ten Lives [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957171
Comments: 5
Kudos: 79





	Mourning White

**Author's Note:**

> warning domestic violence/past domestic violence
> 
> azula is pissed and ursa isn't super nice but she's also like having a crisis she thinks her son is dead

Ursa hadn’t left her rooms in a day. Ozai had been lurking near Lord Kiyouji for the better part of the afternoon, donning his mourning white and miraculously exceeding Azula’s expectations. After the briefing, Lu Ten had retreated to his quarters alongside his wife and son, even electing to abandon lunch with the Fire Lord in favor of wallowing in his grief.

Azula exchanged a few stilted words with her uncle before fleeing to the Southern Wing, cataloguing each interaction she’d had with the ministers and the lords. There wasn’t much else to do—the university had temporarily closed, to observe the proper mourning period for a prince, no matter how minor—and without even Lu Ten to entertain her, well—

She slowed outside her mother’s rooms, her irritation boiling over as she listened to the woman’s wails resonating down the corridor. A few servants rushed passed, their heads bowed. The guards standing at either side of Ursa’s doors looked awkward and pained, but remained attentive to their post.

Azula considered them.

“Open the door,” she commanded them. Their hesitation was barely perceptible—much of the staff that catered to Ursa seemed to be that way about her, unwilling to bend for her _daughter—_ but there wasn’t much Azula could do to punish them. Instead she ignored them, striding purposefully through the doors, her eyes narrowed on the slumped form of her mother as she sobbed openly against her wall.

Ursa had not been born into high nobility, but for all of Azula’s life, she’d certainly dressed and acted like she had. Even all those years ago at Ember Island, she hadn’t gone without a red lipstick, or elegant silks, or a rigid spine. But the news had unraveled her, and now Azula could glimpse the crude nature of her lower upbringing. With her hair uncombed, wearing only her wrinkled nightclothes from the night before, and her face tear-stained and pink and swollen, she could have mistaken her for a symbol of poverty and suffering.

“Mother,” she said coldly. The guards shut the doors quietly behind her. “You look terrible.”

“A-zula,” Ursa hiccupped, her wailing briefly paused. She blinked a few times, and several new tears fell. “I—what are you—” Her expression suddenly shifted. “Are you here to _mock_ me?”

The sudden venom was not wholly unexpected, but Azula stiffened all the same. “No,” she answered. “The whole palace can hear you, and it’s unbecoming of a princess.” She glanced at her nails to avoid her eyes—they were long and talon-like, not unlike Ursa’s, though if asked, Azula would deny it—and tried not to think about how she didn’t actually know _why_ she’d stepped in, like she did—

She wasn’t sure if Ursa had been falling apart all of her life, or if it was a more recent development. Either way, she’d been declining before the letter arrived. Azula figured that she deserved it, after everything.

There was a bruise on her left cheek. Undoubtedly she wasn’t the only one annoyed by her incessant crying.

“Can you blame me?” Ursa hissed, glaring up at her. “My son—my son is _dead—_ stuck at the bottom of some _Spirits-damned harbor—_ ”

“Yes, yes, it’s so tragic dear Zuzu was killed,” Azula cut her off, rolling her eyes. There was a beat of silence before she let out a shrill wail.

“How can you be so heartless?” she shrieked. “Your own brother! What’s _wrong_ with you?”

Azula felt like she had been slapped.

“Do you expect me to throw myself around like a fool, weeping at windowsills like I’m in one of your frivolous dramas?” she said icily, stepping forward. She watched her mother’s lip tremble. “He’s _dead,_ Mother. There’s nothing to be done about it! He’s gone, and, what a _pity_ , only your _heartless daughter_ is left. You act like you have nothing, but you’ve always had _everything—_ you’ve always squandered everything served up to you on a golden platter—and only now that Zuko’s gone—”

“What— _what are you talking about—_ ”

“Nothing is ever good enough for you, is it? Nothing is ever perfect enough!”

“He’d _dead_ , Azula!” Ursa cried.

“Exactly, Mother! _He’s dead_! He’s _been_ dead, for days! And he will always be dead for the rest of your pathetic life!”

Ursa’s lip trembled before she broke into sobs once again, throwing her face into her arms. Azula clenched her fists and strode over to her. She reached for her hair, and yanked upward.

Her mother cried out, shocked by her daughter’s action, before she tried to escape her grasp.

“Get _up_ , Mother _._ ”

“Let go, Azula!” she said harshly. She managed to free her hair, and with her right hand, swiped at her daughter. Azula flinched away; her mother’s nails _stung_ , even if they hadn’t broken her flesh. “ _Get out_. I will not be treated this way!”

Azula let out a frustrated growl. “Then stop your blubbering and get up!” she shouted. “Do you think Zuzu would have thrown himself around, if you were dead? Do you think he actually would have cared? He didn’t love you, in the end—”

“ _Azula! Enough!_ ”

“Why did you choose him? Why do you _still choose_ him?”

“He was my _son!_ ”

“And I’m your daughter!”

Azula’s voice had broken apart. She blinked furiously, and her eyelashes were wet, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

Ursa had crumpled in front of her, curled forward as she cried into the carpet. Azula shook, but managed to steady herself, her fists at her side.

“What did you expect was going to happen?” Azula half-whispered, no longer trusting her voice to remain strong. “If Father didn’t manage it, did you really think he was going to be safe in the navy?” Ursa made a choking noise. “Father literally held him down and melted off his face, and you’re going to cry about him being dead? At least he doesn’t have to deal with...any of _this_ anymore,” she added viciously. “Zuzu was an _idiot_ , but he wasn’t a coward. You claim to have loved him, yet you dishonor him like this.”

“Azula,” Ursa breathed, barely lifting her head. “I...regret...”

“ _I hate you_.”

Ursa didn’t breathe, trembling where she was bowed over on the floor.

“I hate you,” Azula repeated, firmer this time. “If you’re going to disgrace yourself this way, _fine_. It seems I’m the only sensible person in this family.”

When Ursa said nothing, she turned her back to her, walking toward the door. She felt oddly calm, a new peace settling in her limbs and spreading outward from his stomach. She was about to leave when she paused, tilting her head back toward the princess.

She had almost thought Ursa might contradict her—that she might proclaim her _love_ , as false as it was. But she wasn’t a child anymore, and maybe, she wasn’t _Ursa’s_ child, either.

In the end, whatever cutting remarks she had died in her throat, and she pushed through the doors.

**Author's Note:**

> this was hard to write since lu ten living kinda...screws up with some of the canon family dynamics here? really tried to convey that ursa kinda neglected azula/favored zuko, and she was never really able to protect either of them, and at some point zuko probably started to see some of her flaws before he left. however zuko def loves him mom azulas just being rude. also azula is like...probably 17ish? this is supposed to be canon-time, tho, like zuko being at the bottom of a harbor is reference to zhao blowing up his ship...exactly how/why that happened is unknown, and clearly, no one here knows that it was zhao that did it. zuko's probably been at sea at least a year or 2
> 
> anyway this was the hardest so far of this little series, hope you liked! lack of lu ten tho lol


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